Midsummer

In the wee hours of the morning on New Year’s Day, M and I sat cozy under a blanket chatting about whether or not we were going to do the whole “New Year’s Resolutions” thing in 2021. We ultimately decided not to make resolutions per se, we opted for a new approach: setting intentions.

Resolutions have always felt judgemental and restrictive to me; they come from a place of negativity. More often than not, they’re about changing or fixing something that’s “wrong” with us or our lives, and when we fail to uphold them we’re met with guilt and shame. They’re about results; a destination. Setting intentions, however, is about choosing to cultivate more of something in our lives. They come from a desire for abundance; they feel exciting and empowering. Intentions are about a way of being; they’re about the journey.

I thoughtfully reflected on the previous year. I considered the things that worked and the things that didn’t, and I determined that there were a few elements I really wanted to focus on in the year ahead. I wrote them down in my journal, and I put them in a note in my phone:

2021 Intentions

Connect: stay in touch with my people.

Health and wellness: focus on feeling good, nourish my mind, body and spirit.

Be a good global citizen: more vegetarian diet, more eco-friendly.

In honour of the Summer Solstice, I’m checking in with myself and returning to those intentions I set that cold January morning. I’m remembering the “why” around setting these intentions for myself in the first place, and recommiting to them.

Connect: stay in touch with my people. Staying connected is something I’ve always struggled with, and in the mental and emotional state I found myself in at the beginning of this year, I didn’t have the energy to connect with anyone in a meaningful capacity. I let myself off the hook because as much as I wasn’t reaching out to them, they weren’t reaching out to me either. I was feeling the void of this disconnection and I wanted to remedy it, but I didn’t know how. I’ve had some hard conversations lately - through those conversations I’ve learned that my people had noticed my absence as much as I’d noticed theirs. We’ve all been needing each other more than ever, while also being less available to each other than ever before. Hard conversations are hard to have, but they’re worth having. We’ve come to a mutual understanding now and are all practicing a little more compassion towards each other. I’m making an effort to check-in with at least one of them every week. Sometimes it’s challenging and I have to push myself to reach out, but I always feel a little lighter after I do.

Health and wellness: focus on feeling good, nourish my mind, body and spirit. When I set this intention, I was completely exhausted in every sense and in desperate need of some self-care - deep self-care. After being lovingly called out by one of my people for my toxic behaviours, mostly to do with people-pleasing, I started setting boundaries. I released myself from the responsibility of taking care of everyone else, and started taking care of myself. I started putting myself first and prioritizing my own well-being. I invested in myself by enrolling in a Self-Love course and began a beautiful journey of learning to love myself in all my mess and all my magic. I found a confidence and courage within myself that pushed me to share my writing through this blog which has been incredibly therapeutic and empowering. I’ve made amazing progress with my mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, now it’s time to bring some focus to my physical well-being. I need to drink more water - water that hasn’t been run through coffee grinds and had flavoured creamer mixed in; I need to eat more fruits and veggies, less chips and candy; I need to be more active and get out of the goddamn house; don’t even get me started on my sleep schedule. It’s like I’m sixteen again, but I’m very much not sixteen… I’m almost thirty and I don’t quite bounce back like I used to. If I’m being honest, I don’t have a strategy for this one, but I’m setting the intention to bring more focus to my physical well-being so I can truly feel good.

Be a good global citizen: more vegetarian diet, more eco-friendly. This is something I’ve been considerate of for a long time, but I’ve been lacking when it comes to execution. I set this intention because I genuinely want to embody this way of being and I’m ready to put more energy into getting there. I want to transition to a more vegetarian diet - for my health, for the planet, for the animals, and for my bank account. We’ve been incorporating more vegetarian substitutes into our diet and eliminating meat; I tried tofu recently and I didn’t hate it! It’s baby steps, but we’re getting there. I want to be more eco-friendly, to reduce our “footprint” and try to leave things better than we found them. I lost my job a few months ago, which means no more commuting to work everyday, so I’ve reduced my emissions - I guess that’s a win for planet earth! We do our best to minimize any negative impact, but I want to do better in terms of choosing eco-friendly and cruelty-free products, and supporting brands whose vision aligns with our values. I want to do my part to make the world a better place for all of us: more inclusive, more equal, safer and happier. I’m doing my part by educating myself and sharing my growth through this blog.

I’m proud of the progress I’ve made, and I’ll keep doing my best to embody these ways of being, to live authentically and become the next best version of me. It’s important to slow down and take time to reflect on our experience as we go through life - our wins, our misses, and our growth - it’s all part of the journey.